keping-keping cerita

#1
saat aku memutuskan menyerah memikirkan apakah mencintaimu adalah hal yang tepat. atau apakah mencintaimu adalah hal yang seharusnya. atau apakah mencintaimu adalah boleh. saat aku memutuskan menyerah, hal-hal kecil yang sebelumnya tak kuperhatikan tiba-tiba begitu menarik untuk disimak. tiba-tiba aku menyadari warna jendela kamar yang telah kutiduri lebih dari enam bulan. aku memutarkan kembali lagu-lagu yang sebelumnya telah kuhilangkan dari playlist. aku menulis cerita fiksi dan puisi. menerima segala pertemanan di situs jejaring sosial, dan ikut berkometar dalam hal-hal tak penting yang dibicarakan orang. aku kembali beresolusi. memikirkan tempat-tempat asing yang ingin kukunjungi. mengeja mimpi-mimpi yang begitu ingin kumimpikan saat tidur. lalu aku mulai menyadari kehadiran yang bukan dirimu.

#2
hal-hal yang kuingat tentangmu hanya hal-hal sederhana. tentang potongan kue coklat, tentang gantungan kunci. tentang soda. tentang malam. tentang rasi bintang. tentang cerita-cerita pendek. tentang puisi-puisi cengeng. tentang pesan-pesan singkat yang tak pernah terkirim. lalu tentang ucapan selamat tinggal.
hal-hal yang kuingat tentangmu hanya hal-hal sederhana. yang kuingat sendirian.

johny-craig david (dont know why,i just love this song)

"Johnny"



[Verse 1:]
It's another day at school and he's just walking out the door
Got his ruck sack on his back and his feet dragging on the floor
Always late, but when he's questioned he can't think of what to say
Hides the bruises from the teachers hoping that they go away
Even though his mom and dad they both got problems of their own
Caught in a catch 22 but he'd still rather be at home
Crys himself to sleep and prays when he wakes up things might have changed
But everythings still the same

(But didn't you say) You always said that I should speak up, Mmm....
But it seems like all the things you said to me before mean nothing at all
Because...

[Chorus:]
I keep telling you that Johnny's hitting me
Thats why I'm late for school (but you never listen)
Instead you always seem to end up blaming me for things I didn't do (For what it's worth)
I didn't even want to tell you anything incase it made things worse (Just so you know)
Every time I say that Johnny's hitting me
Hey Mom and Dad it hurts

[Verse 2:]
Everyday keeps on repeating like the record on replay
Slowly getting off the bus with Johnny waiting at the gates
Like a friend smiling and waiveing and called him out his name
Put his arm around his neck whats up now gimme all your change
Too afraid to make a scene or plead with him to let him go
He just takes whatevers coming, feels the pain with every blow
Trys in vain to make himself be heard as soon as he gets home
But everythings still the same...

(But didn't you say) You always said that I should speak up, Mmm....
But it seems like all the things you said to me before mean nothing at all
Because...

[Chorus:]
I keep telling you that Johnny's hitting me
Thats why I'm late for school (but you never listen)
Instead you always seem to end up blaming me for things I didn't do (For what it's worth)
I didn't even want to tell you anything incase it made things worse (Just so you know)
Every time I say that Johnny's hitting me
Hey Mom and Dad it hurts

[Bridge:]
You always said that I should speak up, Mmm...
And to never be afraid to come and tell you if I needed to talk (If I needed to talk, Yeah)
Well I don't know the meaning of love, Mmm...
Cause it seems like all the things you said to me before mean nothing at all

(Mean nothing at all)
Because....

[Chorus 3x (Fade Out):]
I keep telling you that Johnny's hitting me
Thats why I'm late for school (but you never listen)
Instead you always seem to end up blaming me for things I didn't do (For what it's worth)
I didn't even want to tell you anything incase it made things worse (Just so you know)
Every time I say that Johnny's hitting me
Hey Mom and Dad it hurts

happy birthday

memikirkan ulang tahun hampir sama dengan memikirkan pakaian lebaran yang masih dua bulan lagi. menerka nerka hadiah seperti apa yang akan membuatmu merasa berarti. membuatmu bahagia. sebentuk perhiasankah? sebuah bonekakah? atau barang barang antik yang mungkin akan berakhir menjadi pajangan pajangan berdebu dirumah mu yang lengang. atau haruskah tidak memberimu apa apa tapi sebuah kecup panjang dan dongeng tidur tepat di malam pergantian umur itu. atau apa aku berpura pura tidak peduli saja dan cukup mengirimkan pesan pesan elektronik dan doa doa simpul seperti panjang umur dan berbahagia.

apapun itu. tanpa pergantian umur pun. tanpa perlu tanda tanda dan pergantian tanggal pun. kau tetap segalanya. kau adalah yang menyesakkan ruang di hati ku yang mungil. kau debar yang berdetak di sudut jantungku yang lemah. kau adalah senyuman senyuman simpul yang tak mampu kukendalikan. kau adalah rasa rindu yang berkepanjangan. kau adalah definisi cinta yang dipertanyakan para penyair itu. i love you.